The Definition of Insanity Ch 1

Chapter 1: It begins...again.

It hurt.

Bad.

Very bad.

So bad, that it had started to not hurt.

Never a good sign.

How could things have possibly turned out like this? Hadn't he trained for this? He'd become so much stronger, and he hadn't been the only one. Everyone had worked so hard, and it had seemed to work out, before...

He didn't want to think of himself as another victim of Aizen's evil; Kurosaki Ichigo: The only one who could have stopped him. Yet here he was...with a sword stuck through his gut, and less riatsu than anyone still alive had any business having.

Even his hollow lay sprawled in a careless position on the side of a building, too exhausted to even bothering commenting on how, for once, his outer wounds had started to affect his inner world. The buildings shook, unstable and weak, threatening to crumble at the slightest move. Windows had begun to shatter and break, falling inward and leaving dark, gaping maws littering the sideways landscape.

Aizen, for his part, was saying something (gloating undoubtedly), but Ichigo couldn't seem to make out the words anymore and it all came across as a dull, distant blur of sound. Time had begun to slow down, and he felt like his brain had become molasses. Parts of his life began to drift before his eyes lethargically and he had a hard time concentrating on the scenes. Even then, though, several strong images lingered, mixing and blurring together to a point where he couldn't seem to differentiate one from the next.

Black began to swirl around the edges of his vision, and he knew that this time, no miracle would save him. Someone was screaming at him from behind. The voice sounded deep and in pain. He could hear despair too, from the other voices...or was it the same one? He couldn't quite tell. That's when he noticed the tugging. It felt almost like when Zangetsu kept trying to originally call out to Ichigo but he'd been unable to hear. After a moment, he brushed the thought to the side and somehow dragged his mind's thought-process back to his predicament.

No one would be able to salvage this situation. If only he'd been a little faster, or paused before entering the battlefield, or just trained harder...

I wish I could go back, the lethargic thought drifted across his mind. Back, before everything happened...back when I first met her...

Rukia's face from that first night came to mind, her eyes glaring up at him, so determined to save one simple human that she'd risk her own life to do so. That was the kind of person she was, after all.

His other friends began to appear in his mind as consciousness slipped from him. Chad...Ishida...Orihime...Tatsuki...Asano...Mizurio...Renji...his sisters...his father...his mother...

A small smile came to his lips at the memories. So this is what it felt like to die? It wasn't like he hadn't been this close before, but it had always been so fast then.

I wish I could have kept going...until I...got it right.

And with that thought, Ichigo died.

Which is why when he suddenly shot up out of bed—in his own room, of all places—gasping for breath and clutching at his stomach in a vain attempt to cradle the wound that he knew should be there but wasn't, he couldn't keep his jaw from dropping open. Waves of shock and confusion flooded through him. Why was he in his bedroom, in a house that, by all logic, shouldn't even exist anymore? He'd just died? Hadn't he? Quickly, he yanked up his shirt and jacket but no gaping holes met his scrutiny. Actually, his eyes widened when he realized that every single wound he'd ever received as a Shinigami had vanished without even a hint of scarring left behind.

He didn't know what to make of this development. Just as his experience in dying had occurred previously, this too happened before. Some vaguely rational part of his mind brought the thought to his attention in a vain attempt to calm him down. He remembered thinking that he'd died as black had practically swarmed over his vision (after all, a hole had been blown through his chest that time), and he'd woken up. However, that time he'd regained consciousness on the battlefield, not in his room dressed in his old school uniform.

What the...?! The rest of his mind struggled to grasp at the straws that had been his dying consciousness not moments before. Had that all been a dream? No, he still felt the lingering echoes of pain emanating from practically his entire body. It had hurt far too much to be a dream. He rubbed his chest where Aizen's sword had skewered him and looked down again, as if to confirm his eyes weren't playing tricks on him, but he still couldn't see anything. Not even the scars where Byakuya had severed his chain deep and soul sleep or where Renji and Kenpachi had almost cut him in half.

Just what was going on here?! How long had he been out?! Long enough to lose a large amount of his strength. He felt weak, like he had no riatsu at his disposal. He could sense it coming from him, but it felt...different than normal, more pure. He scratched his head, wondering where that thought had come from.

Still trying to grasp the situation, he looked around the room. The clock read 20:04, which meant it had just gotten dark. He could still see a faint, soft glow on the horizon out of his window.

It was a familiar scene. One he'd seen hundreds if not thousands of times, but this night seemed to have a dangerous, ominous atmosphere. The atmosphere felt heavy and dense, just like...

"A hollow," he realized aloud. Just fabulous.

Just as he made to get up and find his shinigami badge (hey, his mind my not be functioning at the moment, but he could figure that out after he took out immediate threats), movement out of the corner of his eye caused him to whirl around. He crouched, ready to spring on the invader only to relax when he saw Rukia standing there, gazing around his room. A hole in the wall closed behind her.

Oh yeah, he'd forgotten she could do that. He'd have to ask her how. Maybe it was something he could use when chasing faster or more annoying hollows.

"Oi, Rukia," he said aloud, moving to stand up. Strangely enough, she jumped at his voice and fell off the desk she'd been standing on. Ichigo couldn't help but snicker, even as he reached out to help her up.

She seemed too dazed to refuse his hand until she glanced up and realized who had come to her aid. Looking confused and utterly surprised, she jumped back and out of his reach.

"You can see me?" she asked incredulously. "You can touch me?!"

Ichigo blinked in surprise before his trademark scowl fell over his face. He'd been expecting something more along the lines of, 'Good, I don't have to beat you awake.' "Of course I can. Stop being stupid."

"I-I'm not being stupid!" she said, her voice a little louder than normal. "Humans aren't supposed to see Shinigami!"

The orange-haired boy blinked, then he sighed. "It's a dumb prank," he said dryly. "Whose idea was it? Renji?"

Rukia blinked, her surprise turning into outright shock. "How do you know a seated officer of the 11th squad?!"

"Huh?" Ichigo asked. "He's the lieutenant of the 6th squad."

The dark haired girl snorted. "Not in this lifetime."

Ichigo contemplated her for a moment. Right, this had to be a dream...or else, the after-after life had a really weird (he'd say cruel, but he'd been around Hat 'n Clogs too much) sense of humor. He didn't want to think about exactly what that thought entailed because he felt sure that if he did, he'd freak out and accidentally destroy the house or something drastic like that. So, instead, he turned to walk out of the room.

"Wait," she said suddenly. "Where are you going?"

The human paused and shrugged, looking over his shoulder. "I'm not in the mood to play along. So while you stay up here and mess around, I'm going to find my badge and take out the hollow myself."

She stuttered at him for a moment, but grabbed him just as he put his hand on the knob.

"Wait!" She looked more flustered than he'd seen her in a long time. "Who are you?! And how do you know about hollows?! And how can you see them?! And me?! And how can you track them?!"

Ichigo scowled blankly down at her. "Track them?" he asked, his mind catching on the last question. "I track them about as well as I always have. Nothing's changed there. Still pathetic, but I can always feel them. That's what you're here for though, isn't it? I mean you can't just drop by and say 'hi' or anything."

Again, he left her sputtering as he turned and opened the door. A wave of spiritual energy hit him, but it wasn't more than a huge hollow, if that. Nothing he couldn't handle. He just had to find his badge first. Why hadn't it been on his desk? Or strung through a belt loop on his pants where he usually put it? He must have left it downstairs or somewhere else. And why was he wearing his winter uniform? It hadn't really registered to him before as anything but his school uniform, but now that he'd calmed down marginally, he found that not only was he wearing his winter uniform, but his old one from his freshman year. That made no sense at all if-

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" A scream shattered the night tangibly and Ichigo's heart froze in his chest.

"Karin! Yuzu!" He yelled, leaping forward. Vaguely he was aware of Rukia racing out of his room behind him, but pushed that to the back of his mind. Rukia could take care of herself for the most part. Karin and Yuzu on the other hand...

A loud crash shook the house, and he got down to the living room just in time to see a large hand snatch a scurrying Karin who had pushed Yuzu out of the way.

"Karin!" He yelled, diving out after her.

"Human, wait!" He heard Rukia yell, and vaguely made mental note for payback later (she shouldn't be keeping up with the stupid prank when his family's lives were on the line), but pushed the thought to the back of his mind as he concentrated on the hollow and his sister.

"Karin!" He yelled again.

"Ichi-go..." she struggled to gasp out. "What's...going on?"

Wait, couldn't she see hollows too? Hadn't she commented on how she could see him as a Shinigami? She kept looking around like she couldn't see what had grabbed her. And on top of that, that hollow looked extremely familiar...

"Hey you!" he yelled out, drawing the hollow's attention before calling it a few choice words that he would normally never use in front of his sisters. Yet again, Ichigo pushed his previous thoughts away to go over later as he dove at the hollow. Reaching up, he went to grab Zangetsu...and his hand closed on thin air.

No badge. Right. He was still human.

He really needed to learn to get out of his body without that badge.

The hollow reached out for him, and he made to dodge, until a blur flew by and slashed the thing's wrist. It howled in pain and snatched its overly-large hand back, simultaneously dropping Karin.

"What do you think you're doing?!" He heard Rukia yell, but found he didn't really care as he rushed forward to catch Karin.

Why did this all seem so familiar?

"Karin?" he asked. She didn't respond, but he could tell she'd just passed out. Thank goodness.

"The hollow didn't eat your sisters' souls," he heard Rukia say.

"I know," he snapped back as he leaned Karin up against the side of the house, then realized how harsh he sounded and forced himself to take a deep breath. That's when he noticed where Rukia had landed: between the hollow and them. That wouldn't be so unusual if he didn't also realize where he'd seen that stance before.

Blinking, and in more than a little shock, he stood shakily, suddenly feeling weak in the knees. That had been one of the memories that stood out the strongest in his mind from that night...

From the night he'd first met Rukia.

Ichigo had come across his share of things that could stop him in his tracks; most of them since he had become a Shinigami. This one left them all in the dust.

He'd heard of flashbacks, but this went way beyond just remembering. He could feel the breeze on his skin, and Karin's pulse. He could see details he never would have picked up before about the landscape; how bright the moon was, and how the spring leaves shivered in the breeze...

This had to be real! But...this couldn't be real!

Rukia fought the hollow for what seemed like forever to Ichigo, although it couldn't have been more than a few moments. He absently found his mind analyzing the fight and kept wondering why she continuously left herself open. Yes she didn't fight as well as some people in the Soul Society, but she wasn't this bad either.

The observation didn't help much.

Finally, she got the upper hand and slashed at it's mask. It dodged, but not fast enough. The blade cut through the bone-like material easily, although it didn't penetrate deeply enough to cleanse the spirit fully. She took a step back, crouching so she could jump at the thing again, when it did something unexpected.

Realizing its life was in danger, the hollow threw itself to the side, missing Sode no Shirayuki by millimeters, and then dove directly at Ichigo.

He jolted out of his shock, and went to step to the side, when he realized that it would hit Karin if he moved.

There was no hesitation in his decision. He braced himself against the oncoming freight train.

The hollow hit him, teeth first. He'd felt more pain before, and for longer periods of time. That was, until the sensation of his soul being ripped out and away from him began to register in his mind. He'd only hurt that much once before; when he'd begun the hollow transformation at the bottom of Urahara's giant pit.

He screamed, frantically trying to do something to stop the pain, flailing, calling on his riatsu or Zangetsu or even his hollow! He'd take anything!

He couldn't have been more thankful when the feeling began to dull and the already darkened world faded to black, and...

He shot up on his bed, clutching at his chest...again. His clock read 20:04 and moonlight came streaming through his bedroom window.

At that point, his mind shut down.

He sat there for several seconds, just staring at the wall of his room, barely able to acknowledge when Rukia came through her hole.

Again.

It had to be some sort of trick...some kind of torture on Aizen's part. He'd finally released his sword in front of Ichigo, and now the guy was playing with his head. That's all he could really come up with, because he couldn't really have gone back in time. Even Urahara couldn't come up with something like that...could he?

It was Yuzu's scream that had him jumping out of bed and racing down the stairs, right after Rukia (who seemed oblivious to him).

It never even occurred to him to not go. He was an older brother, so he would protect his sisters every single time.

"Ichi-go..." Yuzu said as she stumbled up the stairs, hand outstretched toward him. "Save...Karin..."

He couldn't bare to leave her like that. Had he just done so before? He couldn't remember. Shaking that thought from his head, he nodded down at her as he rushed by. Okay, so it wasn't much, but he didn't exactly have the luxury of time.

He rushed outside in time to see Rukia slash at the hollow's arm and release Karin. Without wasting a breath, he launched himself at his sister's falling form. Why was he so slow?! Even as a human he shouldn't be this unable to move!

She landed clumsily but safely in his arms, still breathing, and he immediately moved her out of the way and back inside the house. Once she'd been set on the couch, he rushed back outside just in time to see Rukia take a step back after almost slashing through the thing's mask.

It eyed him, and dodged to the side, barely avoiding the Shinigami's attack and heading straight for Ichigo.

He dodged this time. It wasn't easy, and he had to practically throw himself on the ground, but he avoided the attack. The hollow crashed through a lamp post and into the side of their neighbor's house. Before it could even get up, Rukia was on it, finishing the job.

With one last, pained shriek, it dissipated, leaving Rukia crouched on the ground. She stood up and sheathed her sword one more time with a satisfied nod. When she turned around and saw Ichigo standing there, staring at her, she froze.

"Can you see me?" she asked slowly.

"Of course I can," Ichigo muttered, scowling.

"Did you see that fight?"

He didn't even dignify that with an answer.

"Well," she said, smiling in the fake, devious way he knew she would before she did something he hated, "look at this." His eyes flashed down to her hand and the little, spring-loaded cylinder with a duck head on top.

"Don't you even think about using that on me," he growled.

She blinked up at him, not answering.

"Besides," he muttered, "it won't work-"

The last thing he remembered was a poof, and then...

"GOOD MORNING ICHIGOOOOO!"

He scrambled out of the way of his father's feet and subdued him with a little more effort on his part than he expected to have to use. It took him a moment to get his bearings, then last night's events came rushing back to him.

"Wait," he muttered, shaking his head. "A truck ran into our house last night?!"

"So you remember it!"

He nodded, then shook his head. "But...then what...about..." Ichigo liked to think that he didn't often speak when he didn't know what to say. Perhaps that said more about his state of mind than anything else. He remembered fairly clearly Rukia fighting the same hollow twice. Once the first time, when she'd had to transfer her powers over to him, and once the second time when he'd stopped the hollow from getting to Karin. The thought caused him to shudder and rub at his chest again. Had it eaten him? Yeah, he'd like to avoid doing that again.

Then he remembered an amazingly large, strange-looking truck crashing through the wall, leaving a gaping hole, backing up in a curve that ended up taking out a light post and his neighbor's wall, and then driving off...

A vague image of Rukia defeating the hollow came briefly to mind before it tried to vanish, but he grasped onto it and held it firmly in his mind. The image of the memory eraser she used on his family the first time around also flashed through his thoughts. A poof in his face and then his father waking him up.

"Rukia..." he seethed, dropping his father and heading out the door, grabbing a towel before turning towards the bathroom.

"Wait," his father sat up, scratching his head gingerly. "Who?"

xXx

"Well, tha' didn't work out very well now, did it?" Ichimaru Gin grinned at his former Captain after the man had explained the situation. Gin had to admit, he was impressed at Aizen's network. It wasn't easy to get undetected monitoring on the real world. Of course, if anyone could pull it off, Souske Aizen could.

The brown-haired captain returned the grin with a gentle smile of his own. "This outcome was always a possibility."

Gin's mouth grew wider, but he wisely decided not to speak until he'd thought out his words a little more carefully. The head traitor was probably seething inside now that, after all his careful planning, this would take even more work.

"We could wait for the former Twelfth-squad Captain to make a move," Tousen suggested from the side. Gin looked over at the dark-skinned man, wondering—not for the first time—if he really were just that eager to please, or if he had a death wish. He observed the interaction between the other two carefully. It wasn't often all three of them could afford to meet together, after all, but this had apparently been an emergency, and they'd convened at their earliest opportunity. Even now, they didn't have long.

"Is that your opinion, Tousen?" Aizen asked, his own smile widening. Gin suppressed a shudder. And people thought his grin was creepy.

"It is merely a suggestion, Aizen-sama" the blind man bowed quickly.

Somewhat appeased, Aizen let it go in the unusual form of a vague explanation. "If we wait, the conditions will not be optimal. We will act now."

Again, Tousen bowed, reminded of his place. "Of course, Aizen-sama."

With the atmosphere somewhat cooled, Gin decided to speak up. "So, yer just gonna throw a bunch more hollows his way, so she'll have to go save him?"

Aizen simply smiled and left.

"It'll be interestin' if he dies," the Third Squad Captain commented to Tousen.

The dark-skinned Shinigami raised an eyebrow. "Aizen-sama would only allow that to happen if it fit into his plans." With that, he turned, leaving Gin in the small room of the Fifth Squad Barracks where they had met.

Again, the Captain's grin widened. "I wonder," he said before he too left.